What’s Really Standing in the Way of Crushing Your Goals?
This time of year, many of us set out with the best intentions—call them resolutions, call them goals. We commit to achieving something we deeply want, envisioning the transformation these goals promise. Yet, so often, these aspirations are left unfulfilled, and goals are left uncrushed.
Why? What keeps us from accomplishing our well-intentioned goals?
The truth is, the obstacles can usually be found in one or more of the three key stages of goal-setting and goal-getting. Let’s break them down.
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Stage 1: Choosing the Right Goal
Sometimes, the issue lies in the goal itself. A poorly chosen goal can doom us from the start. Here are two common mistakes:
The Goal is Unrealistic
Goals can be ultimately out of reach for various reasons—they’re too ambitious, they clash with other commitments, or they fail to account for the competing priorities in our lives.
Aiming for the stars isn’t inherently bad, but if your goal doesn’t align with your current reality, you’re setting yourself up for frustration. Aim to set “Goldilocks’ Goals” – goals that are ambitious but possible. Goals that are “just right.”
The Goal Isn’t Important to You
Sometimes, we set goals because we feel we should. Maybe someone else encouraged us, or social media convinced us we need to follow a certain path. But unless the goal is genuinely meaningful to you—something you’re willing to make sacrifices for—it’s unlikely you’ll muster the energy and focus required to achieve it.
The takeaway? Choose your goals carefully. Make sure they align with your priorities, your life, and what you’re truly willing to invest your time and energy into.
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Stage 2: Crafting a Realistic Plan
Setting a goal is one thing; creating a plan to achieve it is another. Without a concrete roadmap, even the best intentions will falter.
Goals Need Structure
To turn your aspirations into accomplishments, you need to carve out the time, space, and processes to get the work done. For example, if your goal is to write a book, you’ll need to dedicate consistent time to sit down and write—no shortcuts. If your goal is to build a consistent walking practice, you are going to have to put on your sneakers and walk out the door. If your goal is to begin strength training, you are going to have to pick up and put down increasingly heavy things. If your goal is to find a new job, you are going to have to send the emails, make the calls and have the conversations.
Years ago, a friend called to share her amazing book idea. She was brimming with excitement. Months later, she called again, stuck, and asked, “How exactly do you write a book?” My answer was simple: “Every day, I put my butt in a chair and write.”
The hard truth is that success requires effort.
Anticipate Obstacles
Research shows that anticipating challenges makes you more likely to achieve your goals. While it may seem counterintuitive to focus on potential barriers when you are feeling positive and ready to get going, identifying them early allows you to plan your responses, keeping you on track when difficulties arise. Plan for the blizzards when you won’t be able to get your walk in, plan for all “nos” you will get on your quest for a new job, plan for the days when you stare at a blank page and feel like you have nothing to say. Anticipating those obstacles will not diminish your enthusiasm, but rather it will empower you to confront and overcome them.
The takeaway? Be honest about what it will take to achieve your goal. Plan ahead, allocate resources, and prepare for setbacks.
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Stage 3: Sticking with It
Why do we sometimes give up in the middle—or worse, right before the finish line?
The “Why Bother?” Mentality
This mindset creeps in when we fall out of routine. Missed workouts, skipped writing sessions, or any break in momentum can make us feel like we’ve failed. Our inner critic whispers, “Why bother? You’ve already messed up.”
Even worse, fear of failure can cause us to quit before we even try. Quitting feels bad, but failing feels worse—so we sabotage ourselves to avoid the possibility. We give ourselves the out of “well, I didn’t really try.”
The Middle Slog
The excitement of setting a goal is intoxicating, as is the thrill of achieving it. But the middle? It’s often boring, hard, and monotonous. It’s easy to lose motivation when progress feels slow, even if the end result is worth it. And it is here where so many goals get left behind. It is here where the true work is. It is here we have to remind ourselves: it takes what it takes.
The Upper Limit Problem
In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks introduces the concept of the “upper limit problem”—a psychological barrier that keeps us within our comfort zone. When we push toward a goal that challenges our identity or feels “too big,” self-doubt or resistance can kick in, pulling us back to where we feel safe.
The takeaway? Acknowledge the mental and emotional challenges of goal pursuit. Stay mindful of your internal resistance and focus on your commitment to push through.
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The Final Word
Crushing your goals takes more than good intentions—it requires careful planning, realistic expectations, and mental resilience. By choosing the right goals, preparing for challenges, and staying committed through the tough parts, you can turn your aspirations into achievements.
This year, don’t let what stands in your way stop you. Choose your goals wisely, plan meticulously, and keep going—even when it gets hard. Because in the end, the effort is always worth it.