How to Kick A Crappy Day in the Teeth

I wake up in the same body, in the same house, beside the same husband, with the same two kids sleeping down the hall, and the same dog snoring at the foot of my bed. I have the same job. I have the same long, long list of things to do.

So why is it that some days I feel hopeful, positive, and optimistic and other days bored, depressed, and apprehensive about the future? Why is it that some days I can deadlift 185 pounds and other days 75 pounds destroys me? Why is it that some days I have the energy to take on the world and other days I feel like I’m slogging through quicksand?

We all have those days. We all have fluctuations in our energy and our mood. We’ve all had our feelings hurt, experienced loss, or just had one of those days. Some of us have bigger swings than others. If the bad days are so bad that you can’t get out of bed, well, that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish. You should run—not walk—in the direction of mental health services, support, and help.

But for those of us who have typical good days and not-so-good days, how do you push through a not-so-good day? And how do you refuse to let a not-so-good day ruin a week, a month, a career, or a relationship?

Step one is to recognize the day for what it is. Eric and I will sometimes refer to a crappy day with the shorthand “biorhythms.” That is definitely not a technically correct use of that word, but we use it to explain a day when we feel crappy for no particularly good reason. So, if you are feeling down, take a moment to see if you can identify what’s bothering you. If it is something specific, a conversation you need to have, a particular stress at work, a worry about a child, not enough exercise, or too much wine, see if you can put your finger on it and address it. If it is just a general down day, see it for what it is.

Step two is to see if you can kick that bad day in the teeth and turn it around. There are four tried and true ways to do this:

Exercise. Get out and take a walk. Hop on a bike. Weed your garden. Whatever floats your boat. Endorphins are the single best way to beat a generally blue day. One caveat: You will NOT feel like doing this. Do it anyway.

Get to work. Find a task that you can complete and force yourself to do it. Take action. Keep moving and working. 

Do something for someone else. Boatloads of research and tons of anecdotal evidence shows that doing something kind for someone else can immediately boost your mood. 

Spend time with a friend. Better yet, spend time with a friend walking. Nope, you won’t feel like doing this either. Do it anyway.

If none of these things work, sometimes you just have to see a day for what it is—a lousy day. Once in a while, you just need to binge-watch crappy television while eating Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food. And sometimes, that’s okay. But here’s what not to do. 

Don’t self-medicate a low energy day with caffeine—you will just set yourself up for a cycle. Don’t spend the day on social media looking at how awesome everyone else’s life appears to be (because I promise you, their lives are not as picture-perfect as they look). If possible, avoid making big or important decisions—it is not the day to quit your job or ask your husband for a divorce. Finally, don’t let one bad day leak into the next. Ate a huge bowl of ice cream on Tuesday? That is no reason to follow it up with chocolate pie on Wednesday. Skipped your morning routine on Monday? All the more reason to get right back to it on Tuesday. Didn’t walk on Friday? Push yourself out the door on Saturday morning. And most importantly, if the number of down days increases or the down keeps getting lower, get help.