Look Behind You, But Don't Stare

Several months ago, I was walking with my friend Helen (something we do frequently) when she offered this pearl of wisdom: “Look behind you, but don’t stare.” It’s a simple reminder to reflect on where we’ve been, learn from our experiences, and honor the journey— without getting stuck in the past. It’s been percolating in my mind ever since.

Life has a way of tempting us to linger on things that have already happened. Sometimes, I think about the different paths I could have taken or choices I could have made. Sometimes, I replay mistakes I’ve made, wishing I could rewrite them. And I can’t be the only person who ruminates on stupid things I’ve said at 3:00 a.m. What a waste of time. Staring too long at the past can keep us from moving forward, like a car stuck in reverse when we need to shift into drive.

That’s not to say the past isn’t important. It absolutely is. Our experiences—both good and bad—can be our greatest teachers. They offer us insight, resilience, and perspective. Looking back can help us see how far we’ve come, remind us of our strength, and guide us in making better choices. But there’s a difference between glancing back to gather wisdom and staring so long that we lose sight of the road ahead.

I’ve learned that it’s a balancing act. When I reflect on my own life, I try to look back with purpose: What can I take from this experience that will serve me moving forward? Is there a lesson I’m meant to carry, or is it something I need to let go of? Looking back with curiosity rather than judgment can make those backward glances a tool, rather than a trap.

So, check your rearview mirror, but keep your hands on the wheel and your focus on the road ahead.