Get Lost to Be Found
When I was young, my parents would occasionally go off on a weekend adventure, leaving me with one aunt or another. They would pack their toothbrushes and a change of clothes and head out with only a vague destination in mind. “We always find someplace interesting,” my mother would say. At the time, there were no cell phones, no internet and no GPS blinking from their dashboard. Occasionally, they would actually get lost, but somehow, they always managed to make it home by Sunday evening.
These days, it is much, much harder to get lost. Our phones and our cars tell us where we are every moment. Our calendars tell us where we are supposed to be and when. And if we’re not careful, social media tells us how we are supposed to look, what we are supposed to wear and how we are supposed to feel.
But perhaps we have lost something by not allowing ourselves to get lost. Lost in time, lost in place, lost in thought, lost in the moment. We are so busy moving forward on a familiar path, pressing toward an articulated goal, that I fear we have inadvertently forfeited the wonder and discovery that can come from getting lost.
As Henry David Thoreau famously said: “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”
There is so much to be gained by getting lost, both figuratively and metaphorically. You can get lost by going someplace new, without a plan, just head out and explore. You can get lost by letting go of something that has kept you tethered. You can get lost by abandoning a construct or community that has stopped serving you.
Allowing yourself to get lost—to feel lost—gives you the chance to learn something. Perhaps you’ll learn about your own resilience. Perhaps you’ll discover a path you didn’t know existed. Perhaps you’ll come to realize that what you lost wasn’t something you needed in the first place. Yup, getting lost and being found is both a fact and a metaphor.
But let’s get tactical. How does one actually discover that feeling of getting lost and reaping the benefits of being found? Here are a few ideas:
Walk a new trail. We all have a tendency to keep walking the same well-worn paths, both practically and metaphorically. It takes work to find a new place to walk and there is no doubt that it will feel uncomfortable. And that uncomfortable feeling when you don’t quite know where you will end up is exactly the feeling you are looking for.
Get lost in time. Carve out an entire day—or better yet an entire weekend —without a single commitment and allow yourself to get lost in time. Lay in the grass and watch the clouds, or stare at the stars. Truly get lost in time.
Travel alone. My sister loves to travel alone. An artist and creator, she will get on a plane when a cheap flight shows up in her inbox and go explore. Often, she goes without anything more than a vague idea of the hotel she will stay the first few nights. She embraces the feeling of freedom, the sense of being far from home, lost in another country and culture. You don’t have to hop a plane to Barcelona to capture that feeling, maybe you begin with a single night away from all that is familiar.
Play a game. Okay, this one is the scariest of all. Far scarier than being lost in an unfamiliar city or down an unfamiliar path (unless it is nighttime, or you’re in the woods). Here’s the game. Ask yourself, “If I were to leave this all behind—my work, my home, my community—if I were to truly get lost, what would I find?” You will not find easy answers. But I believe it is a question worth asking yourself.
A final caveat: I’m not suggesting you go out into the woods and literally get lost. Be smart. Bring your phone, bring your water and always be sure someone knows where you are going. But let’s let go of our well-worn paths, habits and routines. Let’s occasionally abandon our sense of purpose.
Let’s get lost so that we may be found.